i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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