Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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