I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
