you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
