No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
