i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i think i just lost a toe
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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