Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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