bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You may now shotgun with the bride
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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