Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
