the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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