You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
