I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
