Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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