It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
