Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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