We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
