Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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