Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
