The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
