She said her name was "party"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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