I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
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Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not