ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk