I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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