my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
