he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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