With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
