what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
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theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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