Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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