Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
