where am i from again
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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