I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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