I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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