waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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