No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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