Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
