The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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