Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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