im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize