So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
