Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it because I queefed?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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