My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You can't special order awesome
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
