I can tuck mytits in my pants
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
