your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
we should paint friendship bongs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
