I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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