also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to calm my uterus...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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