how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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