Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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