I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
