Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
