HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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