Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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