i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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