Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
