fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize