: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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