i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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