so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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