Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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