Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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