I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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